One Destination

Perhaps most pathetically, these politicians’ earnest efforts to win Moulitsas’s affections often fall flat. On the Daily Kos, the “front page” gets the heaviest traffic; a typical diary languishes in obscurity, one of dozens of similar efforts offered each day by the community unless Moulitsas plucks it from relative anonymity and promotes it to the front page. The vast majority of diaries written by politicians for the site do not get promoted to the front page. Moulitsas didn’t even deem Ted Kennedy’s screed worthy of special note.

Yet the kowtowing continues. What makes the endeavor ridiculous is that Moulitsas and other left-wing bloggers want substance: They don’t want their rhetorical style aped--they want a politician to champion their far-left views. And yet the Democratic party has adopted the juvenile patois of the left-wing blogs without any corresponding shift in position, so they continue to pitch their woo in vain. These stylistic makeovers are transparent and therefore unsuccessful; the left-wing blog readers presumably see as clearly as anyone else that Harry Reid is an unconvincing firebrand, Ted Kennedy is not a credible champion of accountability, and Robert Byrd is a preposterous nominee for American hero.

“The quality of ideas seems to play a minor role in mass movement leadership. What counts is the arrogant gesture, the complete disregard of the opinion of others, the single handed defiance of the world.” -- Eric Hoffer, The True Believer

It has been quite the adventure learning what makes Miso tick. I have come to the conclusion that there is only one word to describe him:

“Invincible”

By his own set of rules (that no one else is privy to), Miso is invincible. He takes every fact that enters his mind and bends it and shapes it until it turns out magically that he is the pitiable, misunderstood victim of other people’s evil schemes. By his own judgment, Miso--who is deliberately rude, critical, hostile, abusive, contemptuous, manipulative, and dishonest--never does anything wrong. Yet other people who do exactly the same things to Miso that he does to them are evil, guilty, and incompetent. Miso’s capacity to warp reality is astonishing.

Miso is a jukebox that plays only one song. No matter what buttons you push, all you get is irrational, overstated hostility and inconsolable bitterness. If you are nice to him, he attacks you. If you are angry with him, he attacks you. Nothing you do or say can dissuade him from attacking you. In his world, other people are bad and he is good; therefore, anything he does is good, and everything you do is bad, even when it’s the same thing. He is so irrational that he can’t even admit that he is being abusive and hostile.

Eventually, reality and Miso will collide, and Miso will lose. It’s happened so many times before that you think he would have learned by now. But, he is incapable of learning. He is in a power struggle with the Cosmos, and the Cosmos is going to chew him up and spit him out.

He has constructed a system that permits him to excuse his own behavior by accusing other people of bad behavior. Excusing himself by accusing others makes Miso feel invincible. It’s so simple. The accusation that you did something bad, whether true or not, expunges all guilt from Miso. There’s no point in examining Miso’s behavior because yours is so much worse. In his mind, it works every time.

For him, his system of bending reality to suit his needs works so well that he has no incentive to change. He can get his emotional needs met by simply convincing himself that he is right about everything. He has developed the capacity to magically transform his ignorance into divine inspiration, and his imagination into reality. This is very damaging and dangerous for him, but he believes he is invincible.

He is convinced that he has found the perfect scheme for evading responsibility for his own behavior and taking advantage of other people. Miso is a manipulator.

Miso can’t give what he doesn’t possess. I find it impossible to image that Miso, so completely lacking in empathy, joy, education, and a sense of humor, can be a good [friend]. His ceaseless hostility, anger, pouting, blaming, criticizing, and gloom must be taking a terrible toll on [his friends]. His act about being impossible to please and putting other people into situations where everything they do is wrong [drives everyone] crazy.

He sees himself as the pitiable, blameless, Uber-Victim of other people’s meanness and incompetence. Other people see him as aloof, critical, ignorant, unpleaseable, uncompromising, unempathetic, hostile, abusive, dishonest, know-it-all, manipulative, and slightly crazy.

I don’t know if the rest of you can help him. Please try to stop enabling him. I know you feel guilty about being angry with him. Don’t feel guilty. Miso is responsible for his own feelings and behavior; you are not.

Miso needs to learn how to ask for favors instead of demanding obedience, issuing commands and threats, and engaging in crazy talk. And he needs to learn how to accept “no” as an answer without going to pieces.

I’d like to help him understand that making everyone else miserable is simply wrong. He has no right to make other people suffer any more than they have any right to make him suffer.

But, Miso is invincible, at least in his own mind. He is impervious. He doesn’t need to learn how to do things differently when he already knows how to transfer blame to the rest of the guilty human race that angers him so.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) affect is generally nonchalant, imperturbable, and characterized by feigned tranquility. This changes when individuals with NPD experience a loss of confidence. Then they become enraged and may experience feelings of shame and emptiness. If these individuals lose their narcissistic feelings of easy superiority, they become irritable, annoyed, and subject to repeated bouts of dejection and humiliation (Millon & Davis, pp. 405-408).

Richards (1993, p. 249) notes that individuals with NPD frequently experience rage, indignation, and frustrated entitlement. Kernberg (1992, pp. 21-22) suggests that hatred is the core affect of severe personality disorders. He believes that the hatred derives from rage which, early in life, served to eliminate pain but became useful, later in life, to eliminate obstacles to gratification. Beck (1990, p. 235) suggests that individuals with NPD experience intense envy, fear, and rage. They are particularly angry when others do not accord them admiration or respect (Beck, 1990, p. 50).

NPD rage is more tolerable to these individuals than the shame and envy that is associated with helplessness, a sense of ugliness, and impotence (McWilliams, 1994, p. 172).

IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU DO, THEY STILL HATE YOU.