Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Turkey Day
Opinion © 2007, by Guy L. Evans


I find the use of the term “Turkey Day” disconcerting. Maybe I need to adjust my expectations. So, here are my thoughts on the subject of Turkey Day.

The functionality of Turkey Day is in being proactive with regards to fun. Additionally, the cooking and serving of the Turkey Day meal can be accompanied with the watching and enjoyment of the Turkey Day television parades and football festivities on that day.

Indeed, the use of the term “Turkey Day” also has the proactive impact of making Americans more open-minded to diversity. I can envision a time when Independence Day will be “Hotdog Day”, Columbus Day will be “Pizza Day”, St. Patrick’s Day will be “Corned Beef and Cabbage Day”, and New Years Day will be “Face Down in a Pool of Your Own Vomit Day”. No more American jingoism and bigotry inherent in being proud of your country and your history.

Thus, the naming of important days after food items may be expanded so that every day can be named after some popular dish. I, myself, am looking forward to Raisin Bran Day, and I can hardly wait for Mac and Cheese Day. Oatmeal Breakfast Burrito Day is just around the corner.

Mmmm. Chocolate Cake Day. Yummy.

Of course, “Fruitcake Day” may occur more than once a year, depending on whether or not you’re happily excited.

It is clear to me, at this time, that saying “Turkey Day” instead of “Thanksgiving Day” is an impactful expression of how much Americans have grown.

The world has turned to crap. Think of all the greedy people who won’t share with those who are less fortunate. Doesn’t that piss you off?

But, tomorrow there’s turkey and taters! Let’s eat!!!!!

Seriously, folks. Turkey Day is for escaping reality, and for stuffing your face until you forget how mad you are things don’t go the way that you want them to.

Thanksgiving Day is for reminding us that for everything we have--our food, our homes, our freedom--someone worked hard to make it happen.

Happy Thanksgiving Day.

Guy L. Evans
Aurora, Colorado

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