Monday, July 24, 2006
My Prayer for Today
Opinion © 2006, by Guy L. Evans
July 24, 2006
Dear Lord, please don't sneak up on me like that again. Thanks. Amen.
Guy L. Evans
Aurora, Colorado
Opinion © 2006, by Guy L. Evans
July 24, 2006
Dear Lord, please don't sneak up on me like that again. Thanks. Amen.
Guy L. Evans
Aurora, Colorado
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
What Would Happen If...?
Opinion © 2006, by Guy L. Evans
July 18, 2006
After watching an episode of The Dog Whisperer (Cesar Millan) on The National Geographic Channel, I was confused by one idea that he put forward. He said that dogs that are “babied” become anti-social. This didn’t make any sense to me, and seemed counter intuitive. So, off I went in search of some answers.
As it turns out, he was absolutely right. When you reward any behavior, you will see more of that behavior. By “babying” a dog when he displays aggressive behavior, the dog thinks he is being rewarded for his behavior, and he will become more aggressive.
When children are “babied”, they don’t learn to make the connection between their behavior and the consequences of their behavior. They are mystified about how the world works and are suspicious of the motives of other people. They become dependent, anxious, and antagonistic.
Their antagonism provokes hostile reactions from other people, resulting in further anxiety and suspicion. It is the matter of not connecting their antagonistic affect with undesirable consequences that I wish to address. So, to everyone, I ask the following questions:
What would happen if...?
What would happen if everyone else behaved exactly the way you do?
What would happen if everyone else talked to you the way you talk to everyone else?
What would happen if everyone else treated you the same way you treat your parents?
What would happen if everyone else treated you the same way you treat your children?
What would happen if everyone else treated you the same way you treat your siblings?
What would happen if everyone else treated you the same way you treat your animals?
What would happen if everyone else believed everything you believe?
What would happen if everyone else believed the same things about themselves that you believe about yourself?
What would happen if everyone else believed the same things about you that you believe about other people?
What would happen if everyone else wanted you to do exactly what you want them to do?
What would happen if everyone else tried to exert the same level and intensity of power over you that you try to exert over other people?
What would happen if everyone else displayed their anger toward you the same way you display your anger toward other people?
Would the world be a better place, or not?
Would you feel more safe, or less safe?
Would people treat you better than they do now, or would they treat you worse?
Would you feel more welcome, or less welcome?
Would you have more privacy, or less privacy?
Would you feel that people were being more honest with you, or less?
Would you have more leisure time, or less leisure time?
Would you feel more trust toward others, or less trust toward others?
Would you feel that you were being treated fairly, or unfairly?
Would you feel that people understand you, or not?
What would really happen to you?
What would other people really say to you?
What would they really do to you?
What would happen if you had to soberly observe the real consequences of your behavior, your speech, and your beliefs? What would happen if you really knew the effect you have on other people?
It is impossible to learn to be a better person until you learn to connect the consequences of your behavior directly to your behavior. If you cannot learn from your mistakes, you are cursed, and you will inflict endless and unnecessary suffering upon yourself.
Reward the behavior you want to see more of, and set limits on the behavior you want to see less of. Simple.
Guy L. Evans
Aurora, Colorado
Opinion © 2006, by Guy L. Evans
July 18, 2006
After watching an episode of The Dog Whisperer (Cesar Millan) on The National Geographic Channel, I was confused by one idea that he put forward. He said that dogs that are “babied” become anti-social. This didn’t make any sense to me, and seemed counter intuitive. So, off I went in search of some answers.
As it turns out, he was absolutely right. When you reward any behavior, you will see more of that behavior. By “babying” a dog when he displays aggressive behavior, the dog thinks he is being rewarded for his behavior, and he will become more aggressive.
When children are “babied”, they don’t learn to make the connection between their behavior and the consequences of their behavior. They are mystified about how the world works and are suspicious of the motives of other people. They become dependent, anxious, and antagonistic.
Their antagonism provokes hostile reactions from other people, resulting in further anxiety and suspicion. It is the matter of not connecting their antagonistic affect with undesirable consequences that I wish to address. So, to everyone, I ask the following questions:
What would happen if...?
What would happen if everyone else behaved exactly the way you do?
What would happen if everyone else talked to you the way you talk to everyone else?
What would happen if everyone else treated you the same way you treat your parents?
What would happen if everyone else treated you the same way you treat your children?
What would happen if everyone else treated you the same way you treat your siblings?
What would happen if everyone else treated you the same way you treat your animals?
What would happen if everyone else believed everything you believe?
What would happen if everyone else believed the same things about themselves that you believe about yourself?
What would happen if everyone else believed the same things about you that you believe about other people?
What would happen if everyone else wanted you to do exactly what you want them to do?
What would happen if everyone else tried to exert the same level and intensity of power over you that you try to exert over other people?
What would happen if everyone else displayed their anger toward you the same way you display your anger toward other people?
Would the world be a better place, or not?
Would you feel more safe, or less safe?
Would people treat you better than they do now, or would they treat you worse?
Would you feel more welcome, or less welcome?
Would you have more privacy, or less privacy?
Would you feel that people were being more honest with you, or less?
Would you have more leisure time, or less leisure time?
Would you feel more trust toward others, or less trust toward others?
Would you feel that you were being treated fairly, or unfairly?
Would you feel that people understand you, or not?
What would really happen to you?
What would other people really say to you?
What would they really do to you?
What would happen if you had to soberly observe the real consequences of your behavior, your speech, and your beliefs? What would happen if you really knew the effect you have on other people?
It is impossible to learn to be a better person until you learn to connect the consequences of your behavior directly to your behavior. If you cannot learn from your mistakes, you are cursed, and you will inflict endless and unnecessary suffering upon yourself.
Reward the behavior you want to see more of, and set limits on the behavior you want to see less of. Simple.
Guy L. Evans
Aurora, Colorado
